The Power of the Subconscious Mind
The subconscious mind is working all the time. Every piece of information that you have ever smelled, touched, felt, heard, seen, or talked about is stored in your subconscious mind. That is billions, or even trillions, of bits of data living in every single person’s mind, below the surface. This information affect us more than we know; after all, it is subconscious. However, the more we understand our own subconscious and understand the people we work with, the more powerfully we can connect and communicate for effectiveness.
Understanding Subconscious Influences
Here’s how it works: Have you ever noticed that you come away from some conversations feeling understood, while others lead to feelings of friction—but you can’t explain exactly why that is? The difference often lies in the effects on your subconscious mind. It’s an incredible force that shapes our thoughts, behaviors, and interactions in ways we aren’t always aware of. This hidden layer of our brain plays an important role in communications, as it controls our thoughts and decision-making processes through our reactions and emotional responses to communication inputs.
Importance in the Workplace
In the workplace, understanding the subconscious mind is essential to informing effective communication strategies. It’s like an invisible guide that affects how we process information and engage with others. By acknowledging its role, we can better manage our communications, bolstering our customer relationships and overall customer satisfaction.
How Your Subconscious Impacts Persuasion
In both our professional and personal lives, we often start conversations with the intention of persuading or convincing others. We use logical reasoning and emotional appeals in the hopes of establishing trust in our capabilities and changing others opinions. This often backfires and produces confusing results.
The Downside of Persuasion
The act of persuasion can be counterproductive because of how it affects the subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind operates 5 to 7 times faster than your conscious mind at any given time. Once it becomes fixated on your personal agenda and the points you are planning to make, it hijacks your ability to truly listen and understand the other person’s perspective.
For example, if you are determined to convince someone of your viewpoint, your mind gets so preoccupied with forming arguments that you miss your chance to engage thoughtfully with what the other person is saying. This often leads to more friction in communication, with both parties digging deeper into their own positions rather than working towards mutual understanding.
Defensive Reactions
On the other end of the conversation, when someone senses that you are trying to persuade them before earning the right, their subconscious naturally reacts defensively. It is this subconscious feeling of resistance that makes them less likely to engage with your arguments. Your efforts at persuasion then make you seem pushy with ulterior motives. Understanding and addressing this dynamic is a critical consideration in the art of persuasion where improving communication can lead to more positive results and feelings. With advanced relationship and communications skills, you can avoid these situations and more effectively communicate your points.
Real World examples of this friction
In Ci2 advisors field research on communications in our fast-paced digital world, we observed multiple situations in which trying to persuade, and influence achieved less than desired results.
Case Study: Lost Deal Over $2M
In helping a customer analyze a lost deal over $2M with an elapsed sales cycle of 11 months, we observed the negative outcome of influence and persuasion. Their customer was a manufacturing company who were already implementing their ERP system. The CRM they were trying to sell was tightly integrated with robust functionality around inventory visibility leading to customer satisfaction.
We learned that in the initial stages of the buying cycle the sales team did not understand that not only was this not a critical issue, but the time of benefit was exceptionally long due to a prolonged ERP implementation. However, this false assumption precluded the sales team from having a deeper understanding of what was critical to this customer. And the more they continued to try to persuade them the more they lost their lost the credibility and trust of the buyers. If only?
Internal Change Project Delayed by 18 Months
Another example was an internal change project delayed by 18 months, negatively affecting costs, revenue and customer satisfaction. We observed that the root cause of this conflict was a well-intentioned move to using an Agile Development framework. The conflict arose because the VP of Development and the VP of Product Management had vastly different views of Agile They had different perspectives on what it meant, and how it affected their individual teams, and how to work together collaboratively in this Agile environment.
Their preconceived biases led to many unfortunate conversations where they spent all their time and energy trying to convince and persuade the other of their point of view. Their perspectives were locked into their subconscious minds resulting in conversation after conversation of trying to convince and persuade. Friction and distrust crept into their personal relationship where they did not want to work together. This began to seep into their respective teams, dramatically shifting their attitudes and ability to collaborate on delivering high quality code on time.
Our 3 years of field research led us to challenging the idea that trying to convince and persuade others really works as well as described. It forced us to reconsider other ideas and led us to a unique perspective of trying to Inspire other vs persuade.
Inspiration vs. Persuasion
The key to more effective communication is a shift from persuasion to inspiration. Unlike persuasion, inspiration allows you to connect with people on a deeper, more satisfying level.
Inviting Engagement Through Inspiration
Attempting to convince someone of an opposing or different view can come across as forceful and negative. Offering inspiration does the exact opposite. You are inviting them to opt into your viewpoint and proving that you care enough to make the effort. You can accomplish all this in more by increasing your understanding of the subconscious mind.
Aligning with the Other Person’s Story
The basis of Inspiration is about understanding their unique perspective from their point of view and being able to validate it in a way that makes them feel heard. We focus on relating to the other person’s story, struggles, and emotions. We also focus on the impact the issue has on their work, their motivations, and their aspirations. This deep connection unlocks the potential for deeper understanding and earning the right to inspire.
Instead of pushing a product or idea, this approach allows you to first determine if you have a solution to their problems. And if so, you can now relate a story of another customer with similar struggles who overcame the adversity and created a new beginning or scenario where they were winning.
If you are effective, the other party will ‘opt into” solving the problem with you. There will be no friction and their motivation will be sky high as this is their idea. This is a unique way of inspiring people, creating an environment to win together to deliver amazing results. Inspiring is a much more effective approach and can be effectively used by sales, services teams and leaders to communicate more effectively and build relationships that deliver results.
Some Practical Tips for Shifting from Persuasion to Inspiration
1. Shift your thoughts to connecting and inspiring vs persuading.
Begin with a different idea. You want to inspire the other person, allowing them to “opt into” your ideas instead of convincing them of your point of view.
2. Clear your subconscious mind from all your preconceived arguments
It is normal to have preconceived notions or pre-prepared goals of convincing someone, but these only clutter and hijack your subconscious mind. Instead be curious and willing to learn first.
3. Apply transformational listening skills for deeper understanding
You must deeply hear and fully understand what the other person’s point of view is before giving your arguments. Give them time and space to express their thoughts and feelings fully. Then reflect making them truly feel heard.
4. Tell a story that can inspire them to want to achieve a similar outcome.
Share ideas that reflect your listeners’ values and create a sense of connection. Stories that align with the other person’s experiences and goals can be incredibly motivating, inspiring them to act or “opt in” based on their own internal drive.
5. Be mindful of your own subconscious biases and how they are affecting the conversation
Recognize when your biases or emotional reactions might be influencing the conversation and work to manage these reactions each time they come up. Your own self-awareness can help you focus on the other person’s needs.
Improve Your Advanced Communications Skills with C12 Advisors
Ci2 Advisors is passionate about helping improve communications and relationships for business results in this fast-paced digital world. The days of persuading and convincing are less appropriate than ever with the need for a dynamic fresh approach.
Our Dynamic Relationship model with Business Storytelling is a powerful framework that will automatically help you harness the power of the subconscious mind on communication and relationship-building. By shifting from convincing and persuading to connecting and inspiring you can begin to make stronger, more genuine connections and achieve outcomes that are faster and better than ever before. In Customer Facing, product management and leadership roles, you can use these models dramatically improve both individual and team productivity and performance. Contact us today for a free strategy session.